Seamus is freaking out. It is ten of five on Tuesday evening, Mary is running late to whisk Booker off to gymnastics, but is also trying to seize her only chance to catch up with Carol about the day’s events with a quick chat in the kitchen. So I have yanked the boys out of the dining room, jammed their feet into their crocs and trundled them into the car. By the time Mary comes out, Seamus is in full meltdown and she stops to inquire: “Seamus, what do you want?”
“I want mine bed!”
“Your bed? Seamus, it’s only five o’clock, we’re taking Booker to gymnastics, no one is going to bed.”
“No! I want mine bed!”
“Seamus, what is it you want? Your bag?”Seamus, red-faced and indignant: “No! Mine BEEEDuh!”
Mary, halfway in the car: “Seamus, stop crying and talk normally.”
Seamus, screwing up his features in apoplectic concentration: “Beyad!”
Mary, exasperated: “Okay Seamus, tell me, what does it look like?”
Seamus, tears running down his cheeks: “It’s on mine sandwich...”
After Mary stops laughing, she gets the boy his bread.
The photos show quieter moments: Booker and Seamus waiting for Mary to take the lemon squares out of the oven--Booker intently watching the second-hand to make sure he is not forced to wait a moment longer then necessary. And then, moments later, Booker and Puff preparing to slice the squares, no doubt using special magic dragon method. (The stuffed dragon can be used as a knife, but this is generally not advisable when the stuffed dragon belongs to your two-year old neighbor, and has been borrowed on delicate terms.)
When I came home Friday evening, I found that Seamus had thrown several dollar bills in the toilet, where they floated soggily undisturbed. I mentioned this to Mary, and she remarked, “Oh yeah, Booker told me about that, but then I forgot about it.” She was busy containing the consequences of the next adventure. There are several aspects of parenthood that I thought were merely metaphorical until I experienced them for myself--things like being tired of having your kids hanging on you, or trying in vain to stop them from bouncing off the walls. I want to thank Seamus for clarifying for me that throwing your money down the toilet, also, is not a figure of speech, but a normal part of American parenthood.
No comments:
Post a Comment